School Talk

 Try as I might, spending 3 hours of nothing but studying tires my brain out.

I finally had to break and will probably waste my remaining half-hour before my next class on Amazon shopping for a backpack on wheels. All these books are back breakers!

Found out I got a 96 on my math exam. It's not really a big deal. I am taking an 085 level math class, and right now it's a lot of basic review. Literally adding/subtracting, multiplying/dividing. I was reminded of the Order of Operations I had forgotten about when solving equations. That's good to know, although the way my mind works is wondering who was the person/people who decided that PEMDAS was the way to solve an equation. WHY did it have to be THAT way? Why not "MDASET"??? These are the kind of questions, that do not even matter, that I ask myself thus taking my attention off what needs to be focused on. I wish I could shut off that part of my brain. Even when reading text material I have a hard time getting through a section because I will start wondering about this or that (related to the text) and will end up thinking about those questions rather than paying attention to what I need to study. Argh!

Looked at some tissue samples under the microscope today in biology. I worked alone, which I really didn't mind, but on the other side I felt a little out-of-place. I don't know why I have such a hard time sometimes involving myself with others. It wouldn't have been that hard to go up to a couple of people and say "Hey, want to be partners" but instead, I just hang back and if no one approaches me, I go along on my own. Basically, that hasn't changed since K-12 school. Since we moved so often each time I started a new school I pretty much just hung back and didn't push my unfamiliar presence on others. Eventually someone would talk to me and a friendship would develop, but I NEVER made the first move. I'd like to change that about myself, but I am not sure how to go about that.

I like school, though. I enjoy being in the learning environment. I just need to figure out better ways to soak all the learning in.